So what’s the deal with church greeters? It’s actually a job. Like at Wal-mart. The following is a fictitious conversation that summarizes the idea.

Pastor: ”Hey, we need someone for the ‘frontlines’ of Sunday church services. Would you be willing to greet people at the door?”

You: “Umm. Sure! I like people and I’m willing to stand there and say hello. But what’s the purpose?”

Pastor: “To make people feel comfortable and welcome. In particular, first time visitors or guests to the church.”

You: “You need someone to do that?”

Pastor: “Yes, we need someone who is willing to reach out and say hello, welcome people, and help them feel comfortable. Maybe even help them if they have questions or need to know where to go.”

You: “Why do you need someone to welcome people at church? Aren’t they welcome?”

Pastor: “Of course. That’s why we need someone to show it.”

You: “Aaah. So, without a ‘church greeter’ visitors wouldn’t be able to tell that they are welcome or comfortable and I’m going to help with that. Got it. Wait… why does our church seem so uncomfortable, and unwelcoming that we have to ask someone to do that?”

Pastor: “It’s not unwelcoming, we have free coffee and donuts. It’s perfectly welcoming and it’s not uncomfortable, we have stadium seating. The chairs are brand new. It’s just that people in our congregation aren’t comfortable talking to people they don’t know. That’s why we need someone to greet them.”

You: “So I’m just doing this because our congregation, which views Sunday as an opportunity for community, doesn’t want to talk to strangers?”

Pastor: “Yes.”

You: “Perfect!”

THINK ABOUT IT.

Or how everything seems the same….

I’m involved in martial arts. I’m involved in church. Here are similarities between the two and the way people interact with them. (MA stands for Martial Arts.) I’m sure with more thought this could be written more eloquently but it’s not intended to be eloquent or condemning as much as just fun to consider. Hopefully you can excuse that and enjoy.

In fact, insert any two other groups here and I’d be curious to know how it applies even across them. I would propose that it would.

Church Doubter=MA Doubter: Some people go but don’t really believe in what is being taught but they go because they feel obligated. In MA, some people go to class but don’t really believe in what’s being taught. They continue to go because they feel obligated

Church Believer=MA Believer: Some people go who are totally zealous. When they leave they continue to be totally zealous. Ditto for MA.

Church Foul=MA Foul: Some people will go for years to the same church, as long as they agree with everything, but at the first sign of trouble, the will raise up their ugliness and tear apart the church. Ditto in MA, which is at least one reason for all the variations, associations, etc. of the same styles.

Church Denominations=Budo Fu Jitsu Ryu Boxing—speaking of variations…what about the denominations? No seriously. Our way is right.Speaking of variations…my kung fu is better than your kung fu, karate, jiu jitsu, etc. No seriously. Our way is right. I’m so sure that I’m creating something new to prove it.

Church Method=Technique—Some are all about the method, what you do, how you do it. If you do this—you’ll get this. If you have enough faith, if you pray enough, if you do enough, if you focus on the things you need to do—you’ll eventually be cool. In MA, Some are all about techniques, solutions, absolutes. Do it and you will succeed.

Church “Happy”=The MA Show: Some are all about the appearances. Smile, dress up, say the right things, etc.Put on your pretty outfits, make a lot of noise, do things that look cool, etc.

Pastor is right=Sensei is right: Some people think the pastor/priest is the infallible truth or has a lock on it. They prefer to believe this even when shown otherwise. Ditto for the teacher. They prefer to believe this. In fact, it’s easier to be a sheep than a shepherd.

Church Simply Complicated=MA Simply Complicated: Some theology is overly simple, others are overly complex. Some MA practices are overly simple, others are overly complex.

Church Details=MA Details: Some focus on doctrine that is drawn from a verse here or there and in MA some practice esoteric methods which stretch the boundaries of reality because it may have worked one time, some where, according to their teachers, teachers, teacher—60 years ago.

Church Social=MA Social: For some church/MA is where they get their social fill for the week.

Church Fear=MA Fear: Some pastors/priests use hell as a method for scaring people into believing and listening to them. In MA some teachers use fear of rape, death, being bullied, as a method for scaring people into believing. People do this to themselves too. Way too much television news in their diet.

Church Revivals=MA Self-Defense Seminars: You leave both feeling like you’re good to go but can’t remember anything.

Church Jumpers=MA School Jumpers: Rather than stay anywhere long enough to learn anything of real depth, people move from church to church and style to style, thinking they’re learning good stuff but not realizing that they are shallow in skill. It could also be that once they realize it’s going to be harder than they are willing to do, they leave, whether to avoid accountability or to avoid putting in an effort.

Church Faith=MA Faith: Belief is the key. You need belief over everything else. Faith. Ditto in MA.

Church “Seeker”=MA Vagabond: The person who visits one time to see what the flaws are so they can decide if it will give them any value. Rarely do they find a place suitable. Anything could set them off.

Really, there’s so many more subtle correlations between the two that this list could go on and on. Hopefully you find it a little interesting. I know I did as I thought about it.

Later.

Dear Pastor;

I’m confused… You just used 2 Cor 9:6 as a basis for your teaching today…

“My point is this: The person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously. 7 Each one of you should give just as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver.”

…then you turned around and said we should commit to giving regularly.

Ummm… What about “under compulsion” am I not understanding???

Giving is good but Scripture is clearer than your sermon.

I appreciate that you want what’s best for me and that’s why you’re running through a long list of stuff our money goes too, but as you continue to talk the less I’m interested in giving. Mostly because the majority of the money we give goes to your paid staff and buildings.

It seems that it would be more fruitful for me to identify a mission that I really want to benefit and give to that. Or if I give to the church, that I would see my money stay there.

We should give of our money or time or talents. No doubt. Maybe even all three but its for me to decide. And to decide to joyfully do and not by pressure.

But do not say in the same breath that I should give of one of those three and then try to commit me to tithe 10%. (Okay maybe you did breathe…)

And again about the pressure…. You’ve included an insert in the bulletin that your challenging me to commit to use. Ummmm…. Thanks for the confusion and the obvious misinterpretation of Scripture.

Sincerely,
Sean

PS
(READERS: Please don’t just start chiming in on the general idea of giving and how evil it is. Or send me negativity about the church. I have enough of my own. Besides I do believe that if everyone gave time, talents, and cash, no matter what their religious background the world would be different. Better. I believe that.)